As a mum to two wonderfully noisy and slightly feral little ones (thank you, outdoor lifestyle in Spain!), I’ve come to embrace the beautiful chaos that kids bring. Years of teaching in primary schools have also gifted me a special skill: being completely unfazed by the noise children make—even during a wedding ceremony!
That said, we all know little ones can be, let’s say, spirited. Expecting them to sit still and silent for 30 minutes? Ambitious! While handing over a mobile phone might work, nobody wants Mr. Tumble providing unintentional background entertainment during the vows.
However, that being said children can be just a teeny tiny little bit disruptive especially during a 30 minute ceremony where they might be expected to sit quietly (heaven forbid!)
In my humble opinion, it could and should be mentioned to any guests with children that if their child is upset or uncomfortable, they should feel free to remove them from the ceremony area or take a little walk around what is usually a fairly beautiful and awesome venue. Guests shouldn't feel they need to sit there whilst their little one is crying or having a minor meltdown or yelling poo! (True story!)
The majority of guests might actually like to hear the lovely personal vows, not little Charlie giving his lungs a good workout because he is tired, hungry, thirsty, or most likely, bored.
I am a massive fan of making sure that kids have something to do to keep them busy during times when you need them to sit quietly. We have so many of these times, and some are successful, while others are not, but that is a story for another day!
The Magic of Busy Bags
Perfect Solution for Keeping Little Ones Busy:
Busy bags are an amazing invention and could be a perfect solution for keeping little ones busy and quiet during the ceremony.
Many Options for Busy Bag Contents:
Colouring books/pages and crayons or pencils are a brilliant addition.
These busy bags can be used later in the day too, with additional items added for later on.
Bubbles as a Fun Addition:
Bubbles are a great addition and can be used instead of, or as well as, confetti or flower petals being thrown.
Include confetti or flower petals in the busy bag and put the kids in charge of throwing it at the end of the ceremony.
Sweets, Snacks, and Drinks:
Sweets, snacks, and a drink are a good idea to keep their fingers and mouths busy. a lollipop is always a winner!
Delegating Childcare
If you are the happy couple and have little people yourselves, seriously consider delegating someone, or several someones, to entertain and look after the kids. Someone they know but not your VIP's who will want to be present for the whole ceremony.
At a few weddings in the past, I have seen couples actually hire people to babysit, take care of, and entertain the kids while you get on with the day.
They children are there and can be included in everything, but there is the option for them to go off and play and be supervised while you enjoy your special moment. Bouncy castles, teepee's, colouring stations, sand blending stations. WIN WIN!
Including Children in the Ceremony
I think it is amazing to include children in your ceremony. Flower girls and boys are ALWAYS so very cute. Although they can be completely unpredictable, they generally pull off the walk up the aisle and throwing petals, carrying little signs, etc., incredibly well.
(As a 5-year-old bridesmaid myself, I did cartwheels down the aisle in the church during the rehearsal, and everyone panicked that I might do it the next day during the service. I didn't! Personally, I would welcome this in a ceremony...spontaneity is fabulous!).
I do however, usually suggest not doing a candle ceremony with kids for obvious health and safety reasons, but a sand ceremony can be incredibly poignant and inclusive for any age.
Some couples like to add a vow about upholding their pledges to their children too. In some cases, additional rings or a gift of jewellery have been provided for the little ones as well as the couple. This is a truly melt-your-heart moment.
Talented little people might be encouraged to sing or perhaps do a reading. Of course, they can always be ring bearers. I have had several little boys dressed as ring security with their shades and VIP ring box briefcase in hand.
I know they say never work with children and animals, but in my experience, the more the kids are included in the day, the more amazing it is. Their spontaneity and unpredictability can make for some of the most amazing moments and memories, not to mention some really adorable photos.
Gayle x